This is a classic dilemma, should one stay for the kids? I chose to stay when our first was less than a year old. What a mistake for me and for the child. The biggest mistake was thinking divorce was never an acceptable option. This took away any leverage on my part to improve the marriage. The Prime Directive became keeping the family intact. So if there was a really big issue I always had to cave on it, so as to avoid violating the Prime Directive. Smaller things could become big things if I were to insist too strongly, and big things could cause the marriage to explode, thus even the little things have to be conceded to the wife.
Which means I ceded all power in the relationship. First off this is as we know a terrible loss of Sex Rank or Alpha in the relationship. And so she is likely to lose respect. Secondly it means I lost all ability to affect the direction of the family and marriage. So things really went in the wrong direction sometimes. Thirdly it led to me resenting always "losing".
Another factor is that when the teen years hit the girls fought with their mother about most everything. I believe my eldest daughter resents that I did not do more to protect her. Ironic isn't it, that my Prime Directive was intended to protect the children but instead may have exposed them to bad experiences.
Live in reality. The choice for your daughter is not perfect family vs horrible divorce. Reality is a dysfunctional family or healthier divorced parents. When divorced you can at least provide her with what you believe is the best situation when she is with you.
Last edited by Thor; Yesterday at 10:36 PM.
Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/family-parenting-forums/60403-daughter-promises.html
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